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I don't want to be a cast member of 90210, but it seems like I have to be?

I was granted some valuable shopping dollars and time by Roger today. Which was very sweet and a (weekly) dream come true. I was ready to go and I thought that my allowance, if you will, was never going to be enough to cover what I wanted to buy. Some cute skirts, some shorts, tops, dresses.. all for summer. As much as I love tartan and black, the goth in me gets hot during summer.

So off to a certain shopping centre I went. But my excitement and self imposed 1 hour time limit soon turned into a 2.5 hour desperation to find anything suitable. My findings were:

1. Every single women’s clothing store was filled with horrible floral patters taken straight out of 90210 - not the beautiful 1950s styles that are so elegant and sophisticated.
2. It was hard to find dark denim ANYTHING. Every pair of denim skirt, short or jean was an acid wash or light blue with holes in it. 
3. All dresses were cut just below the vadge. I’m 24 years old and I don’t want to show off my baby maker. Even if I were 18, I still wouldn’t want anyone to see those lips.
4. There were sequins galore. I personally have nothing against sequins and I think they’re fabulous. But some pieces were bordering on shit that I see at the salvos. BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS THEM.
5. Gladiator sandals are still back because apparently no one bothered to recycle anything from the 90s. Or were gladiators all the rage in 90210 as well?
6. Who the HELL wears leather biker jackets in summer? And what kind of store thinks that Perth women are going to encase themselves in cow skin for the summer? And why would anyone wear a tuxedo jacket in 40+ degree heat?
7. Every single skirt I saw was fitted and either black or hot-chunks-floral. What about cute puffy, above-the-knee, bright skirts? No?
8. Balmain is the most copied designer on the high street at the moment and probably will be for ages to come. I saw a copy of a vest and was going to buy it. Then again, I don’t want to buy a demin vest.
9. I can’t understand why tie dye frequents the stores every few seasons or so. It’s something that only few people can pull off.
10. Big dumpy dresses (tie dyed i might add) and jackets just don’t make a girl look like a girl. I doubt she feels feminine in it.
11. Sportsgirl were obsessed with bo-ho for what seemed like 16 seasons. Now we will never see the end of this 90210 season. 
12. To that lady who works at Mimco - I said Hello to you while you gave me the most horrible look I’ve ever seen from a shop assistant, and you said nothing back. Here’s a big F and a big UCKYOU.

I visited every store at least 3 times to find something suitable. I came across the most awesome sales assistant at Oroton who should probably host the Australian version of How to Look Good Naked. And I somehow walked away with two pairs of shorts, a top, two dresses, a sequined vest (oh yes) and a pair of shoes. All do not show my vadge and I don’t look like a cast member of 90210, although it took 2.5 hours to get there. Bah.

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Why I don't give a fuck about weddings.

I have not even been engaged for a week yet, and already people are having an opinion. Sure, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but telling us that we’re “wrong”, “mad”, “insane” among others for wanting to just go to Las Vegas and get hitched is bordering on rudeness.

Here’s the deal: I’ve never been a person who’s dreamed of getting married since I was a little girl. I don’t want the dress, the bridesmaids, the reception, the gifts or anything like that. I don’t want to spend $40k on one day of my life. I’ve never been like that, neither has Roger. To me, I feel a wedding is between the people who are actually getting married. If they want to do the whole she-bang with the dress etc, then that’s great. If they want to elope, that’s great too. Because it’s about them, not me.

Sure, Vegas has been dragged through the mud with the whole “tacky Vegas drive-through/quicki/trailer trash/drunken celebrity marriage” but there actually ARE some lovely places in LV to get married. When we were there in 07, we saw a bridal party heading to the chapel at The Monte Carlo, dressed in a Vera Wang gown with all of their friends/family.

Vegas is one of the most exciting and (can be) beautiful places in the world, and whilst it would be fucking awesome to have our friends and family there if they could make it, I wouldn’t regret getting married with only Elvis as my witness.

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A bigger problem than a weight problem

Seeing these “new” issues with clear eyes, I’ve decided to address this problem and then stfu about it because I no longer care about body issues, comparing myself to other girls etc, after this entry.  

·          Women should not be caring about being skinny, they should be caring about being healthy. You want to be 40 with a fucking hole in your heart because you rang 1800-Lemon-Detox to lose weight rather than just eating healthy and doing exercise?

·          It does not require that much effort to go to the gym or go to the park for a jog. Nor does it require much effort to take the stairs instead of the lift or park further away from a store entrance.

·          You know that time you spend thinking “I should go to the gym” and then eat a pizza instead, you could have just gone to the gym.

·          Big is UNHEALTHY, not beautiful.

·          Couture happens to look better on taller, skinnier girls.

·          Women who say “I want to see shorter women on the runway” and “Plus size models are better” are forgetting the laws of the lens.

·          Do you remember that Batman movie with The Penguin? That’s who girls look like when they wear skinny jeans and are top heavy. Ladies, dress for your shape, not for the shape you wish you had.

·          There needs to be standard sizing in Australia and Vanity Sizing should be outlawed.

·          Yes, eating right and working out takes effort. Think of all the money and time you save on doctor’s bills, tests for diabetes, heart disease and continuously buying bigger clothes.

·          People should not be focusing on celebrities and models. They have a job to look the way they do. You don’t. Your job is to look after your body.

·          Don’t give a fuck about what people say about you. Only YOU should care about what you think about yourself.

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it's beginning to FEEL a lot like christmas

My family used to go ALL out for Christmas. Ever since I was born, I would always look forward to lots of presents from them and the rest of my family. I was spoiled, yes. But before you think my family are a bunch of bible bashers - we’re not. We just buy into the American style Christmas - all about gifts, nothing about Jesus. Just the way we like it. Knowing that I had a lot to look forward to on Christmas day, I used to get so excited that I basically couldn’t eat or sleep in the days leading up to the ceremonial gift giving. Or sometimes I would eat so much because the feeling in my stomach felt like hunger - but I couldn’t tell. Anyone close to me will tell you that I have wanted an iPhone since they came out. I am not an Apple fangirl. I’m not one of those douchebags who are like, “Ooh Windows sucks! Apple is the best! LOLZZ!!”. No. Windows does suck. But so does Apple. ALL computers suck. But. BUT. I love the look, functionality and style of the iphone. Most of all, I loved that I could have my ipod and a phone in one. Perfect. Every time I have went to get one, it’s almost as though it has been snatched away from me. Or maybe I have just bought too many clothes. Either way, I have just never been able to get my hands on one. On Tuesday I thought - fuck it - here I go, I’m gonna get one. And I did. And then I thought - I have to WAIT until Friday to get it. What an anti-climax. I had this weird feeling of not being able to sleep, either not eating or eating too much, feeling as though there were a thousand butterflies in my stomach, all ready to burst out. And I stopped. What was this feeling I was experiencing? I hadn’t experienced it since… Christmas ..when I was a little girl. My god. It felt as though it was Christmas, sometime between 1989 to 1994. What. The Fuck. See, I’m old now. And I just do not get that excited about anything anymore. Not even my own birthday. Not EVEN Slayer and Megadeth on the same bill (I know - shame!). I’m excited about an inanimate object that will serve me no real purpose, other than to make a phone call. How worrying.

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Horror Movie Madness! - Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Supernatural horror films are the only type of films that give me nightmares and make me paranoid. I had nightmares after watching The Exorcist for the first time when I was 22. I was a little precautious that Drag Me To Hell may contribute to the same insomnia issues, but I was pleasantly proved wrong.

Drag Me to Hell begins with plain-jane loan officer, Christine Brown, committing an act of greed for the sake of her own ambitions when she denies a loan extension to a foul woman, Mrs Ganush, who is to be evicted from her home. Mrs Ganush morphs into a psycho stalker and places a curse on Christine during an after-work car park scuffle. After seeing a psychic, she is informed that the curse will create 3 days of a living hell for her until she is eventually dragged to Hell.

Sam and Ivan Raimi wrote the screenplay for this film shortly after completing Army of Darkness, but Sam went off to do Spiderman, which delayed the production of Drag Me To Hell. If the Evil Dead series have shown us anything, Raimi has always had an incredible talent of mixing horror and comedy together. Throughout Drag, I was unsure of whether I should be laughing or puking. Bugs spewing out of mouths, an insane nose bleed and digging up a grave in the middle of a storm – so outlandish that it both amuses and terrifies which makes Drag an absolute pleasure to watch.

Great effects mixed with a bit of whimsy, gore, frights and humour makes Drag Me To Hell the ideal movie to watch for anyone out for a fun ride. And it’s perfectly acceptable for viewing right before the lights go out.

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Mid Morning Diabetes.

Whilst food shoping over the weekend, I encountered some new packaging from Coca Cola for their soda cans. Whoopdie doo – they were smaller. Only an idiot would buy them because they think they are somehow new and awesome as well as not making them fat because it’s only 99 calories.

As I turned the corner into the health food isle (that’s right – coca cola right next to the health food isle) I noticed something quite insane on the box. “Mid morning snack”. I had to take a picture and run – it was just too funny.

I work in a place where people are cracking open their coke cans at 8:30am and the vending machine is empty by weeks end. So it seems like the whole idea of having a can of coke or fanta for a “mid morning snack” has been around forever. This is a scary thought, but no one really said anything about it. All the coke ads have people drinking it sometime in the afternoon on a beach with some grandma because they think that this will make their product look awesome. I was always brought up to think that soft drink was a ‘treat’ and that it’s ok to have it once a week but that was it. Seemed and still seems fair to me.

Then as I was driving home yesterday, I saw a billboard advertising the new Cadbury Chocolate size – 100 grams or something. Either way, it was a smaller version of the biggest blocks and the picture consisted of an opened packed of the smaller Cadbury block and underneath it said “Perfect for on the go.”. Who the FUCK eats an ENTIRE block of chocolate while their driving to work, or picking their kid up from school? I’ll tell you who. The same person who buys fucking 9 cans of fanta because they’re in a new size and are only 99 calories. Plus, the packet said they were good for a mid morning snack.

When did it become ok to factor “snack sized” junk food into every aspect of our lives? I understand that these companies have to make money, but they are also the ones who are enabling the dickheads who don’t think for themselves or have no brainzzzzzzz.

We are slowly, but surely on our way to equalling the USA food consumption. I’ve been to the land of USA and I have seen their “serving suggestions” and they are enough to feed a whole family. Here’s to Australia’s future - full of obesity and diabetes. Go team!

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weight issues and more! all in this issue!

The past two months have been insane for me: 2 times a day, 6 days a week at the gym. Eating 90% organic food and 10% junk food. Cutting down drastically on alcohol (then I go all “Courtney Love” for one day). For me, a lazy person at heart (I am currently putting off washing 2 days worth of dishes) that is something. That is an accomplishment.

Why do I want to do this? So that I may possibly lenghten my life and strengthen my health after quitting a pack-a-day-plus smoking habit, driving to school instead of walking and basically just trying to reverse the damage I have done to my body by binge eating, eating insane amounts of junk food and getting wasted every day for years and years. I shudder to think about what my insides actually look like. Are they wittled from drinking 2 litres of coke a day for a year and a half? Do my lungs really look like damaged shrink wrap?

So I gym it. And I eat healthy. And I’ve been losing a bit of fat but gaining muscle. I feel slightly sorry for those who are ordering KFC at 6:30 whilst I walk back to my car after a work out. I’m pretty sure I see the same people there over and over. The thing that really gets me is this: 95% of the people in my gym at 6am are women. They are my age and they are beautiful women of all shapes and sizes. And they work their asses off. I know it’s probably because they have a subscription to Vogue or some shit. Or maybe there is just too much pressure on them, to stay beautiful and stay slim. Or maybe they just enjoy being healthy and working out.

One of the things I noticed is that people are always going to be judgemental, whether you’re eating a chocolate bar at 10:30am every day or whether you are doing what I am doing. You’re either eating too much, or not enough. If you’re overweight and you’re eating junk, people think that’s part of your job. If you’re overweight and you’re eating healthy and working out, people think you’re going to fail in 24 hours.

I usually seem to care what people think of me but for this, I don’t. No one but me can fully understand what I was doing to my body for a good 5 years. I can’t give a shit if people think that because I eat only organic food I am a freak or I have an eating disorder. I don’t give a flying fuck if people think I am insane that I only eat pasta, rice, oats or other wholegrain carbs after each work out. I really, really couldn’t care less if people think that I am this, or I am that. If I did, I would have stopped what I am doing.

It’s not about being skinny or losing weight, it’s about being healthy. It’s about being able to run 100 metres without gasping for breath like Homer Simpson after 2 metres. I am young and I’ve got to grab this opportunity by the balls or one day pay for the years of damage I’ve done to myself.

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Bigots can be gay too. Really.

I am a huge supporter of Gay and Lesbian rights. I feel that everyone, everywhere should be equal because we are all human and that is what we are entitled too.

I am a reader of perezhilton.com (I know, shame - but I like my goss fix!) sine 2007. He’s an openly gay man and sometimes I find his comments towards other actors quite funny and embarrasing at the same time. He’s not afraid of his sexuality and I think that’s great.

When that Miss California chick stood up in front of the audience at the Miss USA pageant and said that she didn’t belive in gay marriage because she was a practising Christian and that’s what her relgion stands for, the shit hit the fan. Perez Hilton who was a judge on the panel, went nuts. He called her a stupid bitch or whore or something, people were just in uproar. There was pressure to strip her of her title - it was as though she committed a crime.

I do not agree with her point of view. But she was saying that she was brought up to believe this from her Christian roots. That doesn’t make her a bad person. It’s a touchy subject - I hate religion as much as the next person - but she was never demeaning towards homosexuals. Gay people were coming out of the woodworks to call her everything under the sun.

It isn’t her that I was worried about, it was all these people - gay people mostly - who were so outraged and offended about what she said and personally attacked her. That is very, very wrong. Were they not just attacking someone for their religious beliefs in such an outlandish and cruel way? As an outsider, I don’t understand. I can’t understand what it’s like to be gay and having someone say they don’t accept you. But everyone should be entitled to their fair opinions, even if you may not agree.

Sad, sad the human race.

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Terminator: Salvation aka so I didn't need to get drunk.

Ok, so if you are a Terminator geek like me than we can skip the into being: time, place, setup of Terminator Salvation. I did a bad thing before seeing this film; I read countless reviews all hoping that this film would somehow “redeem” the mess T3 made. It certainly left me going into that theatre facing the worst case scenario but I managed to just become a Terminator geek - see how that played out.

Salvation is certainly a standalone film. It’s set in post Judgement Day - so different from the other films that still had the familiarity of life as we know it. All of a sudden, we skip the years from 2004 to 2018 and arrive in a desert land (aka Los Angeles). It has the usual references to all the other films which any geek would love - you know “Come with me if you want to live” and all that shit. But it lacks the heart and soul of the first two films. Is it because Sarah Connor is long dead? Is it because we missed 14 years of pretty juicy stuff, like John Connor actually becoming a leader in the Resistance?

McG said he was influenced by Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road”. I can see perhaps a 2 second reference to this book in this film. The film would have greatly benefited if there was some realism in terms of supplies, ammo, food - where does it come from? How do these people survive? It’s all well and good that a book was written to bridge the gap between this film and the last, but I could have appreciated some visual aides if this film was set immediately after Judgement Day. Maybe hire some unknown actor for John Connor, who isn’t a douche bag like this person turned out to be (I used to love you Senor Bale). Give it some cred - ANYTHING but hiring Common. Or at least use his real name.

There are going to be die hards that rip this film to shit, and I can understand why. But the Terminator films (I cannot say “franchise” - what an ugly word) are not about deep, existential issues. Sure, you can read it that way if you want but then you have a lot of time on your hands. I’m here to have fun and that’s what TS is about.

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The Resistance - The human race isn't fucked.

One lazy Friday afternoon in front of the TV, I began watching a new show called Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I was instantly sucked in and it became my new obsession - downloading the episodes 60 minutes after they aired in the USA as Australia was behind at least 6 episodes.

I started hearing whispers that the show was drastically losing viewers in the States (because that’s apparently, all that matters) and that season 2 was going to be it’s last. All of a sudden - up popped “Save The Sarah Connor Chronicles” websites, twitter accounts, tweets - all dedicated to trying to save T:TSCC.

There were letter writing campaigns, online viewing parties, calling FOX to tell them that they need to keep T:SCC on the air, occasional tweets about what you can do to tell FOX you want another season of T:SCC, bombarding polls like E!’s Save One Show (which was eventually won), purchasing Season 1 on DVD or iTunes, creating video campaigns (like the awesome one below) and more.

I joined in as much as I could, it was hard not to be pulled into it - strangers from all around the world united for one common purpose - to save a TV show. While it probably sounds silly (and at times, some of the tweets sounded like we were fighting an actual battle), I found it truly amazing that people could bond like this. Even some of the writers got involved - and not forgetting an amusing video from John Connor himself. It was truly insane.

In the end, we lost for reasons that were pretty lame. FOX cancelled Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles yesterday morning. But I don’t think I will ever forget all of those people who really did become The Resistance. It’s probably nerdy, but I don’t really care. Some faith in the human race has been instilled back into me.

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